Crushing Chaos

3d7502035708d57659aedd3fa8cd67ffIs anyone else feeling overwhelmed or distracted by the noise, unrest and busyness of the world lately? Since I came out, I can honestly say that I function much better in quiet and peace than I do in chaos. One of the many changes that happened in my life included gaining the ability to be content in quiet moments. I was not always this way. There were many years when I could not stand quiet. I needed the television on to fall asleep and always needed to be moving. The thought of being still was terrifying to me. I had so much going on that quiet was more like an air horn. No thanks.

As I got older and wiser, I realized that my internal chaos was affecting everything. Negativity is a sure fire indicator that chaos is present. Negativity is the ultimate killer of peace. Examples of this can be found every time we leave the house, turn on the television, or interact with people. As a rule, internal chaos creates external chaos. When internal chaos is running the show, it is nearly impossible to achieve anything closely resembling peace in our lives.

Here is an example of how internal chaos creates external chaos. Think about the parent who tosses their child out when they discover they are homosexual. These parents are rejecting their own children because of their own deeply held religious beliefs and reacting out of fear. I personally think that if those who doth protest too much spent less time protesting and more time pondering why their internal reaction to homosexuality was so extreme that we would all benefit. I recently read a blog that moved me to tears from a mom who changed her heart after her child came out. Click here. My heart aches for those homeless LGBT teens who are rejected by their families for coming out and for the parents that truly think that because their child is gay that they are an abomination.

Every action or reaction we have passes through the filter of how we feel on the inside before it is put out into the world. Healthy people do not create chaos in the world. This lesson came to me after I had my kids. I made the decision to address my own chaos when it became painfully clear that my chaos was their chaos. It took many years to get to the place where I am now. It did not happen overnight. It was difficult and at times, a supreme pain in the ass. It is often challenging to choose peace over chaos, especially when the outside world thrives on it.

Keeping peace in our lives may be a challenge, but it is not impossible. Choosing peace in our being requires much less energy that fighting the chaos, the world, or one another. There are many who do not believe that they are entitled to feel peace. Life is messy and can be hard. Nothing breaks my heart more than when I see those who believe they are undeserving of love and a peace filled life. This is something we all deserve and are capable of creating for ourselves. The first step is getting out of our own way and taking out the trash that litter our minds and hearts. I know. It is easier said than done. But do it anyway.

We do not owe the world anything, but we owe ourselves everything. It comes down to this. If we all chose to deal with our internal chaos, the world would be better for it. This may mean dealing with guilt, self-esteem issues, the past, or just practicing the lost art of forgiveness. It may mean accepting who we are at our core and embracing it even though our friends and family may not be on the same page. We owe it to ourselves to recognize the things in our lives that are stealing our potential for peace and to remember that peace and love can never fail.