In search of…
The search for the gay lifestyle has been elusive. Six years have passed since we came out to our family, friends, and the world. The experience has had its share of ups and downs and been an exercise in patience and fortitude.
In short, we were both married to men, had children, and discovered we belong to the classification of “late in life lesbians.” As a couple, we faced a litany of changes and adjustments as a result of our decision to live authentically and out in the open as lesbian women.
The level of chaos and frequent need to explain the changes has lessened but it has not passed. Coming out changes everything. Or does it?
From the very beginning of this journey one topic has been particularly challenging to understand and frustrating to address with those who are not a part of the gay community.
“The Gay and Lesbian Lifestyle” and ” The Gay Agenda” has been the subject of numerous conversations, objections, and provides the most opportunity for argument with those who believe that homosexuality is a choice.
In 2015, I published a memoir titled Switching Teams: What Coming Out Later in Life Taught Me About Love, Conquering Fear, and Accepting Change. Sharing my story has helped many others who have walked a similar road.
We have spent countless moments scratching our heads and wondering when the lifestyle was supposed to arrive and elevate us to full lesbian status. According to the conservative and religious, we should be grateful it has not descended given the inherently disordered and sinful nature of the homosexual life.
Chasing “The Gay Lifestyle”
Even though there is an entire chapter devoted to the subject in my book, there is so much more to say and do to help prove the existence of the “The Gay Lifestyle.” If it does exist, we missed the memo and the orientation class. Damn. If by some chance, the lifestyle awaits, I am sure we will find it. For now, we will redouble our efforts to find this elusive and rainbow draped ideal.
We are hopeful and confident we will be able to provide the answers which may help unravel the mystery around “the lifestyle” our fellow gay and lesbian brothers and sisters experience after coming out. The quest focuses on presenting empirical evidence contradicting our hypothesis that the lives of homosexual people look very similar to, if not exactly like, those who are not gay.
By documenting our life and whatever measure of style we may possess on any given day, we are certain to uncover the truth. Right? Tighten your seat belts, we suspect this is going to be a long ride.